Stressful Situations

There is a method that we learned in class that I want to share with you that will be beneficial for problem solving whether it is in you marriage or just simply trying to figure out if you should buy that new house or get a different job, whatever the problem or concern is, following these seven steps will facilitate  finding a solution.

1. Set time and place.
   it is important to always have a place and a set time that you always talk about things, so for instance, having a spot in your home where you discuss family matters or finances will really help you be where you need to be mentally and there will be less distractions around.
2. Speak love and gratitude to each other.
   You will never be able to get anything done if there is a spirit of contention among you and your spouse. There must be a spirit of peace and love around so that things that need to be taken care of will. This will also allow for both parties to have each others best interest at hand and not have an attitude of selfishness and pride.
3. Pray
   Regardless of what faith you are, Heavenly Father wants to help you, he wants you to be happy and he has your best interest at heart, you are his child. Beginning with a prayer will set the tone for the kind of conversation the two of you will have. Expressing your concerns to him will show him that you keep his will in mind and it will show him that you are willing to be open to what he thinks is best for you and your family.
4. Agenda
   Having an agenda will make your meeting run much smoother. You will have a plan and your thoughts will be more organized. You won't waste time, not will you be scatterbrained.
5. Discuss till consensus to the Lord's Will.
   Be open to God's will will allow you to grow closer and ultimately make the right decision.
6.  Closing Prayer.
   Closing with a prayer will show God that you are thankful for what you have and for how the meeting went. He will be more inclined to bless you and to help you.
7. Refreshments.
   The best part!!! after your discussion, you must enjoy some yummy refreshments that will allow you to not be so tense, especially if what was being discussed was adding tension to your marriage. It will help set the mood and remind you why the both of you are still married.

Getting Married

Love-Wedding-Marriage

Expectations- when people marry they have certain expectations about what their life will be like as a married person. People tend to believe that they will be happy, their spouse will be faithful and that it will last forever. This could be a problem because at times many couples have too high expectations in  their spouse, if they believe that their spouse will always put the toilet seat down or put the cap back on the toothpaste, they are setting themselves up for disappointment. A wise older woman once said, something along the lines of my standards where always high, I just lowered my expectations.

The Wedding

A public ceremony that validates and celebrates a couples marriage. interestingly enough in the United States the wedding has become a lucrative business as well as an elaborate affair.

*interesting fact- the average wedding cost in the United States cost $27,800 WOW- that is not including the "destination wedding"

an elaborate wedding can cause tension between the bride and her fiance and even the families of both.


Adjusting to Marriage

Women are more likely than men to have their contracts violated.

 

"I'm doing this because I love you"

life changing videos: Mothers and Fathers

                                                                                       

Parenting is such a touchy subject because there are so many different ways of doing it, but does that mean that they are all correct? Well many parents would say that their parenting skills are the best or that they way they discipline is the most correct. Some have even said "Well the kids need to know who's the boss, they need a little bruising here and there"

there are three different types of parenting that I want to talk about

• Authoritarian-
  -the approach is to exercise maximum control and to expect unquestioning obedience .
  there is little give and take interaction between the parent and the child. it's the parent's way or no way. children don't have much thought or opinions in the matter.
  when there is dicispline involved it is physical and severe.
• Authoritative-
  -the approach is to put boundaries on acceptable behavior within a warm, accepting context.
  this is the best type of parenting there is. The parents create an environment where they have control to teach and impliment rules and consequences but the children have the opportunity to make mistakes and to choose whether or not they do the right thing. This type of parenting allows children to make mistakes and learn from them. It gives them the sense of being independent to an extent within certain boundaries.
• Permissive-
  -This approach is to minimize any control, children have the ability to live their lives the way they want to, with no responsibilities or discipline or control. Parent show little to no interest in the child's behavior or activity outside the home.
  
  
  *parents might approach the permissive parenting style to again friendship and love from their children.  
  
  
  *Aversive and nonaversive discipline are the two general types of discipline.
  Aversive is when there is yelling and spanking.
  Nonaversive is when there are toys being taken away, timeout, and when there is explanations of why a certain behavior is inappropriate.
  
  
  Interesting statistics
  African Americans are more likely to use spanking and yelling
  Whites are more likely to use timeouts and removal of toys.
  Those parents over the age of 20 are more likely to use yelling, adolescent parents are twice      as likely to use spanking as older parents.
  Spankins is more common among those of lower economical levels.

"Are You My Dad?"

Fathers are so important in a child's life. Take a look at the following statistics about the effects of absent  fathers. statistics

The following video gives credit to all dad's do. dad rap fatherhood comes in all shapes and sizes, related or not. children need fathers in their lived to help guide them and most importantly teach them and be an example of what a good man has the potential of becoming.

I'm sorry I keep posting so many videos but I truly believe in the importance of having a father be involved and be part of a child's memories and learning experiences. I was blessed to be able to have a father in my life. He was always around growing up. He never let us go without. 

the following is an example of a father who, regardless of the obstacles in his life, did what it took to provide for his family and was an active father and husband. A FATHER INDEED

Another aspect of family I want to talk about is Finances! What a scary word I'm sure. Did yo know that one of the major reasons for divorce is due to poor finances and conflict.

              Many professionals suggest that being financially aware and learning to have a budget is key to a stress free, conflict free and successful marriage. Here are 12 points that will help you, your marriage and your family to surviving the bonds of financial instability and debt!

1. Teach family members early the importance of working and earning. “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread” (Genesis 3:19) is not outdated counsel. It is basic to personal welfare.

One of the greatest favors parents can do for their children is to teach them to work.

2. Teach children to make money decisions in keeping with their capacities to comprehend. “Save your money” is a hollow pronouncement from a parent to a child.

3. Teach each family member to contribute to the total family welfare. Encourage fun projects, understandable to the children, that contribute to a family goal or joy.

4. Teach family members that paying financial obligations promptly is part of integrity and honesty development.

Paying tithing promptly to Him who does not come to check up each month will teach us to be more honest with those physically closer at hand.

5. Learn to manage money before it manages you. A bride-to-be would do well to ask herself, “Can my sweetheart manage money? Does he know how to live within his means?” These are more important questions than “Can he earn a lot of money?” New attitudes and relationships toward money should be developed constantly by all couples. After all, the partnership should be full and eternal.

  6. Learn self-discipline and self-restraint in money matters. Such conduct can be more important than courses in accounting. Married couples show genuine maturity when they think of their partners and their families ahead of their own spending impulses.

7. Use a budget. Avoid finance charges except for homes, education, and other vital investments.

8. Make education a continuing process. Complete as much formal, full-time education as possible.

9. Work toward home ownership. This qualifies as an investment, not consumption. Buy the type of home your income will support.

10. Appropriately involve yourself in an insurance program. It is most important to have sufficient medical and adequate life insurance.

11. Strive to understand and cope with existing inflation. Learn to see through the money illusion and recognize the real value of money.

12. Appropriately involve yourself in a food storage program. Accumulate your basic supplies in a systematic and an orderly way.

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