"Hello..... is anyone in there?"

Have you ever felt like you were speaking to a wall? or perhaps felt like everything you were saying was going in one ear and out the other of the person you were trying to speak too? Well come marriages whether or not you are married or not, you better be prepared now to feel like your not being listened to and some how the both of you are speaking two different languages.

Is there anything that can be done to fix this or prevent it? Well fortunately for you there is. EVERYONE can learn how to be a better communicator. For a different class I have been

reading a book... How to Make a Goof Marriage Great by Victor B. Cline, Ph.D
In it he gives 10 tips on how to improve communication in your marriage.

1. Have discussions together where you won't be interrupted by electronics, kids or work.
2. Allow enough time to work through important problems.
3. Never discuss serious issues when either one of you is hungry. (i think this one is fascinating and i probably never would have thought of it. it's funny though because just this week my roommate was arguing with her boyfriend and she turns to me and says, man he is being such a jerk, but it's because he is hungry and when he is hungry he is very prone to irritation.)
4. Be a GOOD listener. Hear your partner out.
5. Don't run away if things get tense, if emotions arise whether they are tears or anger.
6. Be honest. But do it kindly and tactically.
7. Avoid "YOU" statements.
8. Share feelings. If you feel upset when he does or doesn't do something tell him/her.
9. Be POSITIVE with you partner.
10. If you topic is to hot to be discussed then write your partner a letter in a loving manner what your thoughts and feelings are, and then discuss them afterwards.

I think all ten of these tips are something that we can all put in good use whether it be with our spouse or with a roommate parent or friend.